"How do I get my hubby to help during labor?"
Since sharing more of our home births with the world, I've gotten this question many times, and while for one, I will say some of it has to do with personalities, I will also say that there was a lot of communication involved BEFORE we ever went into labor.
So if you're wondering how to help prep your husband for labor or how to get him more involved in the process, here are some ideas that we found most useful for our own experiences:
1) COMMUNICATE your needs; before and during. Take time as you prepare for birth to talk it all through with your husband; what are you hoping for? How do you see yourself wanting/needing his support? How would you like him to be involved in the birth process? He will never know unless you communicate with him!
2) ASK! Some men may not feel they have permission to be super involved in the process; seems weird, but it's true! So invite him into the process even while you communicate your needs. I specifically asked my husband (before we went into labor) to help with filming, taking photos, counter pressure, and my essential oils while I was laboring. So then when I WAS in labor I didn't have to try and have a conversation or explain myself; quick words or mentions reminded him of my requests 🙌🏻
3) Get educated TOGETHER! Watch birth videos or the business of being born. Consider taking a birth class or reading books with labor positions/techniques together.
4) Get HELP. If you feel like you need it, consider hiring a doula to assist during the process and help give your husband ideas. I only had a doula with my first birth; but she was invaluable in the way that she would silently show my husband how to help me cope through contractions and the seamlessly step out of the way to allow him to be the one to support me. It was like hands on training!