Updated: Aug 16, 2022
There is nothing more fun than taking a trip down memory lane and reliving the story of how I met my husband. It always gives me butterflies when I think of all that we have been through and all our silly mishaps when we were kids. I adored him from day one and remembering our history together helps me adore him in a fresh way even now, almost 20 years later.
My Love Story: How It All Began
Once upon a time there was a shy, mousy little homeschooler with copper hair, bushy eyebrows, and no sense of style. She didn't know her own value and often got run over by her prettier, and more out going older sister.
On one particularly sunny day, a call came through. A family friend wanted to introduce her grandson to some "nice Christian girls", so over we went, on the back of a red four wheeler to the neighbors house down the street to make a new friend. The pair of girls had no idea what they were about to walk into, and I had no idea how my life was about to change forever.
I still remember the first moment I saw him. We loped down the hill into the back yard and there he was. Young, tanned, toned, and sporting a thick head of brown hair with 90's style frosted tips; he was a babe.
I instantly felt myself shrink into my own skin, trying to hide the best I could behind my bushy eyebrows. My sister called out a greeting. He turned and we locked eyes, I looked away. Introductions were made and I quickly found myself seated in a circle with him and my sister, making small talk and getting to know one another.
Who am I kidding?
He and my sister were getting to know one another, and I was sitting there in silence, smiling occasionally without showing my teeth.
Then it came, the moment I always dreaded in every conversation, he asked me a question. The world stopped moving for a second, I'm pretty sure everything slowed down as time ticked by and I remained silent. Panic stricken, fear tightening in my chest. I was supposed to say something; something intelligent, oh Lord help me. And then she jumped in for me, like she always did, and I felt myself fade into the background again.
Only this time was different.
"Oh yeah, that's cool." He said casually, throwing my sister his darling lopsided smile. Then he paused, planted his elbows in his knees and locked his green eyes with mine, he put his chin in one hand and leaned towards me. "But I want to hear what she has to say."
It was all over.
My poor little 12 year old heart never stood a chance against his dreamy green eyes, *NSYNC-seque hair, and genuine warmth; I was head over heels in love from day one.
I remember going home (late) that night after spending hours talking, laughing, and engaging in general teenage shenanigans (no, no, there was no kissing or flirting, I didn't know how to do either of those things at that point), and laying in my sister's bed that night talking for hours about our day; about him. He was so sweet, we both agreed. He was so much fun, yes that was true. And we should totally invite him to youth group with us.
My sister quickly decided that he was going to be our new "brother", since we were supposed to be good "Christian" influences on him and all, and obviously we didn't want any weird emotions to get in the way, yes, yes of course, I agreed out loud; but my head and heart rebelled.
And that's how it started. 12 years old, much too young to know what real love was, but laying in the darkness, starring up at the ceiling and re-living that moment over and over again in my head; he noticed me.
PS: Yes, this is my personal love story and yes, it really is based on actual events. I have over 10 years of diary entries that are proof that this story is 100% genuine.
Little Moments Together
It all started so simply...yet it turned into drama almost over night.
Of course we invited him to youth group with us and christened him our "brother", but our relationship was always interesting.
From the beginning I was constantly questioning his every move; he loves me? He loves me not....He loves me? When thinking back on our history and all the telling moments, I had a hard time deciding which ones to share. There is one memory that I particularly cherish...
We spent the following summer on a mission trip to Africa, the three of us, because we were a group wherever we went. After spending a month in the African bush with hardly a shower, eating mealie pop, and running from rouge cattle, we ended our mission trip with a stay at a 5 star hotel.
That first night we were there we were all able to shower for the first time in 10 days (heaven!) and we were told to dress up for a nice dinner out. I remember walking downstairs with the group of girls I was rooming with, feeling fresh and beautiful and there he was.
He was talking to a friend and only glanced up for a moment, he turned back to his friend and this his head snapped back towards me. I remember this moment so clearly because it was the first time anyone had ever done a double take when looking at me.
I think it was one of the first times I really realized I was attractive to men; I was riding high all night and have kept that memory with me always.
But, the real story I wanted to share with your guys came the fall following our trip to Africa.
There was a boy, I met him at my homeschool co-op; he was moody, dark, and mysterious, his name was Sean. I had the biggest crush on Sean, and since my other romantic interest was chasing after other girls *cough-cough Jeremy*, my floundering heart was sure that it'd be okay for me to be interested in someone else too.
Our story starts in the dark...
A group of us were hanging at my parent's house (who were conveniently out of town) and we decided to play hide-and-go-seek in the dark. (Now just hold up okay! It's not as stupid as you think when you're running around a 3 story 6 thousand square foot house in the dark looking for people- oooooookay? Sheesh. Anyhow...)
We had specifically invited our "brother" so that he could meet my crush, to say he was less that impressed would be an understatement. I noticed some jealous vibes early on in the evening, but I sloughed them off, sure that I was reading into things.
It was Sean's turn to seek, so all of us flew in different directions to hide. I ran into my parent's closet leaving the giggling and squealing group behind. It was pitch black and a little scary. I felt my way to the back and started to slide down the wall when a slight shadow moved across the doorway.
"Are you there?" It was him.
"Yeah." I breathed. He was coming towards me, slowly, shuffling, I held my hands out and briefly felt his warm hands fumble as they found mine; fingers brushing palms.
He sat on the floor next to me as we listened. Most of the noise from the other teenagers hiding had subsided, the seeking would begin soon.
"So, how's it going...?" He asked as he took a seat next to me, his shoulder brushing mine.
"Shhhhh." I whispered.
"We're supposed to be hiding."
"They haven't started looking yet." I could feel the heat from his body. Felt his hands stirring the air as he picked at something on his sleeve; was he as nervous as I was. "So Sean..."
"Shhhhhhh!" I felt my cheeks flush and was glad he couldn't see me. My eyes had finally adjusted to the dark as best they could and I could just barely make out his profile as he looked towards the door.
"Hey, I mean I'm here to meet him aren't I?"
"Well yeah but..." I trailed off awkwardly.
"I mean he seems like a nice guy and all, I just pictured you with someone else."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, someone, you know, different."
"Someone a little more..." He paused and exhaled, he turned his face to me, I couldn't see him well, but I could see the shape of his eyes as he searched the darkness for mine. "Someone more like..." He leaned a little closer and I could feel his hot breath blast across my face. I held my breath in response and waited.
And then he leaned in and kissed me.
Or he would have in a perfect world or maybe a reality TV show, but this isn't a movie, this is a real story of my life. There was no kiss, no talk of feelings, instead a loud scream from the floor beneath us as the first person was found sent us both flying out of the closet and up the stairs to find better hiding spots.
Our conversation was left open ended and I was left questioning whether or not he was actually about to kiss me or if I was just dreaming as I often did.
Years later when we revisited this memory together he told me that yes, he was about to kiss me. I cannot even tell you what it did to my heart to hear that. It would have been my first kiss, so it's a bitter sweet memory for me; but one I wouldn't trade for anything.
And let's not even talk about the rest of the night! This night was one that left me in confusion for sure! Later that same night while watching a movie, we ended up on a couch together and somehow his head ended up cradled in my lap for most of the movie while my crush sat alone in the chair that he chose.
Boys. I'll never understand them!