Measuring Up In Motherhood
I'll let that sink in for a sec. While that statement may seem simple; think it through.
I think this is a hard one for us to process these days mainly because of all the hot "debates" over mom life choices. Should I breastfeed or bottle feed? Is sleep-training okay or should I co-sleep? Attachment parenting? Montessori? Homeschool? Public school? The list goes on and on FOREVER.
One thing is for certain, there really isn't only one way to know "what to expect when you're expecting"; ya feel me?
Each of us will make choices based off a variety of things including past mistakes/experiences, our childhood, our spouses preferences, seasons of life, knowledge, research, gut feeling, etc, etc, etc. And that's okay; that's GOOD!
One thing I've noticed is that when people jump down my throat about a choice I've made for myself or my family, it actually says a lot more about THEM than me. I'm not responsible for someone else's triggers and neither are you.
Because each family, child, and parent is different, making each family dynamic difference (SHOCK). So instead of attacking one another for making choices that are different than our own, we should celebrate and support each other while we do our very best for our families.
Motherhood is hard enough as it is. It's even harder when we're being pressured by society or those around us to fit into some cookie cutter form of what a mom should be.
So I hope if anything you throw off the burdens of other's expectations of you today and every day and remember that you're allowed to do motherhood your own way! But I also hope that the next time you're scrolling social media and feel the urge to play Judge Judy you'll stop for a moment and remember that their motherhood journey is not that same as yours and they're allowed to make their own choices for their family. (And trust me when I say I am just as guilty of this as anyone. I'm preaching to myself here and working daily to remember that no two mamas are exactly alike!)
Now... let's talk comparison.
How often do you compare yourself to others because you feel like you are not "measuring up"? Measuring up to WHAT!? You can't measure yourself up next to someone else's life. You can't measure yourself up next to anyone else's ANYTHING for that matter. Why? Because they are a different person than you are.
They have a different past. Different life experiences. Different opinions. Different emotions and chemical makeup. Heck, even their skin type is most likely different than yours!
NO two people are exactly alike; and that's especially true for us mamas!
And we should see that as a really, really good thing, because that means the pressure is off to be anyone except the person that God made you to be. You can pursue motherhood in your own style and do it your way. You don't have to fit into a mold or be whatever current mom-model is preached by society at the moment.
You also don't need to "measure up" to Pinterest Penny, Sexy Sally, Athletic Amy, or Baker Betty. You can thrive in you own special way.
So next time you're tempted to compare and despair, remember you're not them! So any sort of
she's better than me because" nonsense makes NO SENSE. You keep being yourself and shining through with the personality you were created with!
*Also, just a note here, I think comparison and INSPIRATION are very different! I have many women that I look up to and who inspire me to be a better mama/woman. But where I am careful is when I started to think they're "better" than me, more "successful", or "if only I could be like...." -those are dangerous thoughts friends and can leave us feeling insecure and like we're not measuring up. And again, to WHO!? That babe you are mom-crushing on- is on her own path doing her own thing, while it's alright to want to mirror or emulate some of the qualities you love about her, you can't and won't ever BE HER. So you do you boo! (I hope that difference makes sense!)
With love and support,
